From the recordings THIS IS WHO I AM and TOUGH'S NOT ENOUGH

Lyrics

DEAR JOHN DOE 
 
He told me his name was “John Doe”; 
People throw other names at him. 
So you don’t read into this though, 
We’re going to call him “Adam”. 
 
He fell for a sweet girl named “Jane”; 
Married her before she could leave. 
To try to keep this story plain, 
We’ll go ahead and call her “Eve”. 
 
They rented a mighty fine home, 
In pretty Passaic, New Jersey. 
To help make this a simple poem, 
Let’s say it was “Garden City”. 
 
A simple story; 
Just a simple song. 
Don’t start to worry 
That you’ll get it wrong. 
 
I change all the names; 
Protect the innocent. 
It’s all fun and games - 
Until ”The Accident.” 
 
One day a stranger called on Eve, 
A man in a black business suit. 
He said he was a salesman named “Steve”; 
We’ll call him “Satan”, seller of fruit. 
 
Fruit filled the whole dining area 
When old Adam came strolling in. 
Eve was prone to hysteria; 
We’ll call it “Original Sin”. 
 
A simple story; 
Just a simple song. 
Don’t start to worry 
That you’ll get it wrong. 
 
I change all the names; 
Protect the innocent. 
It’s all fun and games - 
Until ”The Accident.” 
 
Adam and Eve met the landlord 
Whose name just happened to be “Todd”. 
To make him easily ignored, 
We’ll give him the nickname of “God”. 
 
Yeah, the landlord got wind of this 
And demanded explanations. 
So much for their marital bliss 
And eternal expectations. 
 
“I want you both off my property!” 
God decreed with perfect diction. 
Adam and Eve cried profusely, 
Faced with this forceful eviction. 
 
A simple story; 
Just a simple song. 
Don’t start to worry 
That you’ll get it wrong. 
 
I change all the names; 
Protect the innocent. 
It’s all fun and games - 
Until “The Accident.” 
 
They had two sons, “Dylan” and “Bruce”, 
But we’ll call them “Cain” and “Abel”. 
Living just outside of the noose; 
Getting paid under the table. 
 
They wrote a book about these folks; 
Got sued for slander and libel. 
Some call this book FAIRY TALE JOKES. 
We’ll keep calling it THE BIBLE. 
 
Copyright © 2005 Lex Zaleta