Lyrics

CHARLESTON 
 
This is a story about Charleston, Tennessee: 
 
Go about 36 ‘n they’ll be fixin’ 
To write up a speeding ticket for you. 
Go about 5 to 10 over the limit, 
And that’s just about how much hard time you’ll do. 
 
“Y’all have a mighty fine day now, ya hear? 
We sure appreciate you passin’ through. 
Next time, play it safe – drop it down a gear - 
And drive through here at about thirty-two.” 
 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee, 
Love the people and the scenery. 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee, 
Love that Southern hospitality. 
 
Well, right between two beautiful developments 
They’ve got a trailer park, campground, and dump site. 
It sure don’t make a whole heap of sense 
For a town trying to make its future bright. 
 
Chicken Man lives there, setting up his death trap; 
Calls out to all the youngsters playing around, 
With a 9 millimeter pistol on his lap, 
Yells, “Set foot here again, and I’ll shoot you down!” 
 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee, 
Love the people and the scenery. 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee, 
Love that Southern hospitality. 
 
They got a plant here that hurts your nose, rots your gears; 
Burns every truckload of trees they keep bringing. 
It’s been that way for well over fifty years; 
Some day soon, we’ll hear the fat lady singing. 
 
They say, “Don’t go gettin’ so high falutin’! 
Sure we fill the sky with thick, smelly vapor, 
But we ain’t doin’ none of that pollutin’. 
Think of it as the price of making paper.” 
 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee 
Love the people and the scenery 
Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee 
Love that Southern hospitality 
 
GOD SPEED! – but you’d better not try it! 
 
Not in Charleston, Charleston, Charleston, Tennessee. 
 
Copyright © 2004 Lex Zaleta