From the recordings LEX'S LAUGH TRACKS and STILL

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Hopeless Romantic

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Lyrics

HOPELESS ROMANTIC

Take her to a movie,
Bring the popcorn from home;
Use words like “fab” and “groovy,”
“Cookie, lend me your comb!”
Like those years in “juvey”
For hot wiring that chrome;
Show her I’m no newbie,
Let my hugging arm roam.

I’m a hopeless romantic
When it comes to the chicks – I mean broads.
I’m no hick in from the sticks;
I know how to light their Bics® – I mean bods.

Take her out to dinner -
The McDonald’s® drive-thru.
Tell her they’re all winners
On the dollar menu.
My hair’s getting’ thinner,
But my do-rag’ll do.
I’m sure no beginner;
Brought along the cold brew.

I’m a hopeless romantic
When it comes to the chicks – I mean broads.
I’m no hick in from the sticks;
I know how to light their Bics® – I mean bods.

Get her back to my place,
My cozy double-wide.
Run right to second base
When I get her inside.
Can’t wait to see her face;
I know she’ll be tongue-tied
When she sees my trophy case
Of rings from all my brides.
I’ve got undies from my brides,
Small animals that died,
Fish in formaldehyde.

I’m a hopeless romantic
When it comes to the chicks – I mean broads.
I’m no hick in from the sticks
I know how to light their Bics® – I mean bods.

Wanna see my big ball
Of belly button lint?
It's over there ...
Right next to the
Petrified Little Debbies®

Copyright © 2008 Lex Zaleta